Monday, October 29, 2007 . 8:27 PM
Had my first proper Sports & Wellness class on Thursday and it was pretty good. Our coach for street soccer is the national coach as well, so it was pretty cool to have him point out our mistakes and techniques. We were divided randomly into four teams: Red, Blue, Yellow, Green. =.=". I was hoping for something less primary school-ish... Anyway, there were an odd number people so my team (Yellow) had 7 players instead of 6; 5 on the court, 1 substitute (2 in my case). The teams were pretty much balanced and that was when coach announced that there is going to be a league for the 6 months we're playing. And the prize for the team who wins the league gets a private performance of NP's Magnum Force. (Best cheer-leading in Singapore lah...)Hehehehehe...all the guys are gonna work hard for that...Spent all of Friday, Saturday and Sunday helping out Xin Yi, Lee Hua and Hanafie in their O Level English. Hanafie kept being persistent on using cheem vocab words while Sam and I kept telling him that grammar was much more important than vocab. Xin Yi and Lee Hua weren't too bad themselves: I could understand Xin Yi's points in her compos easily and Lee Hua's written English has improved by miles. I just hope that all three of them get better than a C6 this time. Then all three of them can fulfill their dreams: Electronics & Computer Engineering at Ngee Ann, Accountancy at an undecided poly, and a proper JC for Hanafie.
Seeing them retake their O's makes me feel guilty. I should have done better at my first attempt. My results were way below my usual standard. I feel as if I've let myself down as well as the teachers at BHSS. Sigh...
Bah...forget about the past...I'll just file my O's away under "Failures & Mistakes" and never open it up unless its required in a life threatening situation. I'm looking forward to the LP concert on the 13th of November...I dunno what to wear there...the usual jeans and a random shirt? I'm definitely gonna buy some LP merchandise there: shirts, caps, any cool LP stuff they have to offer. I'm happy with spending 150 of my dollars to see them live. I missed them the last time they were here and was I pissed at my parents for not letting me go. The world could suffer a nuclear holocaust and I'll still be there.
I saw Qian Hui today again at my Mechanical Practical. The first time was when I was having my break outside the workshop; she came out with some friends and I just looked down trying to make it look as if I didn't see her. Pretty lucky to have some classmates there so I wouldn't look like some loser by himself.
The second time was when I was leaving the workshop after class and I was passing one the many alleys with the welding stations. Knowing my luck, she had to be in the last alley that I had to pass before the entrance/exit. And being so stupid as I am, I looked at her as I passed and it was too late before I realised she was looking back at me. Then she smiled at me. What else could a pathetic guy like me do? I returned the most feeble smile I have ever produced.
It the worst thing ever to stab me inside and twist it around. And I'm helpless in stopping the pain. Its something thats constant; almost 24 hours - when I'm on the bus to school, I see happy couples cuddling and whispering; I'm in a lecture, I see Qian Hui in front of me; I pass by her in the corridor, she smiles at me, yet I can't do anything about it; I'm back on the bus home, I see happy couples again; I try to ignore them by listening to music all I get are dreams of me whispering the lyrics to my non-existent girlfriend.
I get home, and turn on my laptop and all I can do is just stare at it - half hoping my non-existent girlfriend would talk to me on MSN and ask me how my day was. But then again, I live in reality. A place where girlfriends don't exist for me. Wait. Let me rephrase that: A place where no one cares about who I am or what I do.
Thats all I've allowed myself to say to the public. I have a ton more things to say and talk about, but thats only for the very best friends I have. You know who you are.
