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Tuesday, January 15, 2008 . 8:41 PM

Sorry about the late post... I've been pretty tired everyday...stupid exams are coming up on the 11th of February and I've got to start mugging...My new job is pretty cool, just playing WOW on my laptop and getting up every now and then to feed the punching machine with more paper. The company I work for prints school diaries by the way. They haven't done BHSS yet, but I saw a sample of last year's diary hung up on a board together with a few others. 10pm to 8am job, $5/hr, adds up to $50 per night, I work Friday and Saturday nights, so thats $100 per weekend. I get $400 every month. Very good deal if you ask me. I get to play games, sleep and do pretty much whatever I want in the office. Jeronne and I have been abusing the stereo system when the boss leaves for the night; around 11pm to 12am. We can blast the speakers so loud with 98.7FM that when we leave the office to pee or something, the whole factory can feel a slight thudding. Oops...forgot to mention that the place is at Kallang JTC, at one of those flatted factories. The whole compound is dead quiet, save for the occasional janitor.

Thats enough about my new job I think.

I've never ever ever ever felt stressed or worried over tests and exams. And now I'm dropping like 20 hairs every morning. I'm not kidding; I'm literally dropping at least 15 - 20 hairs every morning after my shower. I feel scared shitless over my final year exams coming in 4 weeks. I'm already pretty certain that I've failed my AUTOCAD module (using computers to draw stupid lines which I don't understand). I'm left with my maths, analogue electronics and mechanics. I really want to get at least a C for all of them. I feel so stupid when the lecturers are teaching and I don't know what the hell they're talking about. This is why I studied so hard during Secondary school. I didn't want to feel stupid.

I'll never forgive myself if I don't make it to year 2. I'm gonna do whatever it takes to bloody cram everything in my head and pass this exam.

I'm starting to doubt everyone's opinion of me being "smart" and everything. I'm losing my belief in myself and my abilities.

I'm scared shit.