Tuesday, September 29, 2009 . 1:16 AM

I feel like I'm becoming immortal. These past few weeks I've been sleeping an average of 5 to 6 hours everyday. Sleep, school, work. Repeat. 5 to 7 days a week. And I don't know why but I don't feel tired. Maybe a little sleepy after lunch but once the food has been digested I'm quite wide awake.

Worked at F1 on Saturday and Sunday as a cleaner. Basically keep the VIP toilet clean and sweep and mop 3 floors. The 4 of us were split into 2 groups of guy + girl partners for male and female toilets. Aaaaaaaaaand, I SAW BACKSTREET BOYS PERFORMING LIVE!!! AHHHHHHHH!!! SO COOOL!!!

I finally get a date with my beloved tomorrow. I've waited like forever!! Lunch, shopping, movie then prawning!! Wooooooooooohoooo!! =)

Photos taken during F1:













































Backstreet Boys rule!! I've never been to any of their concerts before, but I could hear them from my station. So heart breaking; so near yet so far.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009 . 12:21 AM

Tired.

Hell week has begun. 6 hours in kitchen as fryer and setter. Hot as hell but fun too. Outlet chef was really patient and didn't shout or scold me for making small mistakes. But I think I was improving as every hour went by.

School tiring today. Had to think and plan and decide alot of stuff to try and keep the project going. Meeting another motor company tomorrow to get our 3rd price quotation before we submit our purchase form. Motor is going to cost us about $495. Still waiting for school to reimburse my $100 expenditure on project materials.

I can't think when I'm tired. Sleep now. Wake up at 7am tomorrow.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009 . 9:28 AM

Sunday, September 20, 2009 . 1:44 PM

Went out in the afternoon with Esther to Bugis for lunch and to catch The Ugly Truth. She ordered Pig Organ soup but it turned out to be Pig Liver soup...lol. At least she had the Bak Kut Teh which wasn't too bad. We went to Filmgarde at Iluma and the cinema was very new and quite spacious actually, especially the legroom area. Plenty of space to walk along the seats, unlike other cinemas where you have to keep saying "excuse me...sorry!!". The movie was pretty okay. Funny at times but again like with The Proposal, the storyline was a bit weak and the ending was quite corny.

Went to Bugis Junction to that neoprint place and took a whole bunch of neoprints. It was only like my 2nd or 3rd time taking neoprints so I was a complete idiot who had no idea what was going on. It was very very fun anyway...I'm beginning to understand why it was so popular before...hahaha.

Had to send her off quickly to work after that. We were 30mins late but the manager was nice and didn't scold her or anything....sorry honey!!

Have work again tonight at 6pm. I'm probably going to finish at 4am again because of poor scheduling by the manager. Oh well...that just means more money for me. Okay...I'm getting sleepy again. I'm gonna play one game of DOTA then go back to sleep!!

Monday? Phobia? =)

Friday, September 18, 2009 . 8:13 PM

Managed to squeeze in a little time to blog before heading off to work later at 10pm.

It's been a pretty busy week for me compared to my usual standards. My project has been moving forward and backwards so much that I'm starting to get panicky. So many things have not been finalised especially my designs. It's like trying to make progress without a plan and along the way there are so many complications and mistakes. Like the other day, I went down to the industrial estates in Jurong to purchase two stainless steel rods and ball bearings. Today I find out that the rods bend under a heavy load. One of the Technical Support Officers (TSO) was kind enough to explain that solid metal will always bend more compared to hollow pipes. So I have to go down and purchase another set of hollow pipes and another set of bearings to fit. Which by the way aren't cheap. The bearings cost about $70 for 4 pieces. At least the school is paying for it, but what a waste of time isn't it?

Got back my results today. I passed all my modules which is a good thing and my GPA was 2.23. Highest I ever achieved in school so far. I got a B for my FYP1 which really lifted my spirits but next semester's FYP2 is worth 15 credits compared to FYP1 of 5 credits. I have to work triple hard now. The project must work. It must, it must, it must, otherwise I'll be a failure and an embarrassment.

I didn't get to see Esther much this week. I only saw her for about an hour last night when she came to pick me up after work at AMK. I sent her home quickly because her sister would get really mad if she came home late. We have a movie date tomorrow but the both of us have to work after that, so again its only for a few short hours (can't wait!! =) ) . Next week is going to be hell week for me.

Monday (Public Holiday): No plans.
Tuesday: Work at OYP 6 - 11pm
Wednesday: Work at AMK 6 - 11pm
Thursday: Work at AMK 6 - 11pm
Friday: Work at F1 8 - 8pm
Saturday: Work at F1 8 - 8pm
Sunday: Work at F1 8 - 8pm

I wish I could see you more often. You're like my energy source. Everytime I see you and when I'm with you, I forget all my problems and my stress just slips away. I'm happy, refreshed and full of energy. But the both of us have to work because money doesn't come our way that easily. I hope I get to see you on Monday before my hell week starts.

I'm going to make sure that the week after that I'm going to make myself as free as possible so I get to see you. I miss you so badly you know?

Thursday, September 17, 2009 . 10:29 AM

Spent 5 hours travelling to Jurong East and Jurong industrial estates just to purchase these:







Had to go to AMK Botak to help out from 6 to 11 last night. And again tonight. riday till Sunday I'm working 10pm to 4am.

So tiring. School (Project) and work. I need you by my side but you're already in my heart aren't you? That's enough for me =)

Wednesday, September 16, 2009 . 2:59 AM

It seems like it was just yesterday when I first laid eyes on you at OYP =) This is one memory that will never disappear from my mind no matter how old I get. Ever since our first date, life has been absolutely fantastic for me. A little busier and a little more tiring but still its just all so worth it to be with you. I've not regretted a single moment with you be it good or bad too. Every time I manage to make you happy or surprised, I'm so happy myself. Every time I manage to upset you, I swear quietly at myself and tell myself never to make the same mistake again.

Don't worry when you're out with your girlfriends =) I totally understand. It's perfectly fine to spend money too; just make sure you set your budget correctly and it will be alright =)

I do. I do!! I want to spend the rest of my life with you too!! I have to have that big gigantic TV okay? That's one thing our house must have no matter what. It's going to be the first thing we're going to put in our empty house. The TV, Starhub cable, a giant fridge, a ultra comfortable sofa and aircon. Top 5 priority things...wahahhahaha!!

Sure, some people are probably thinking "Look at these two idiots. So young already thinking so far. It's never going to happen." Well it's just too bad for you! Some people are rich, some people are smart. It just so happens that these two people here live on dreams and work toward it.

I love you like I do. Love you now and always will. Here's to a incredible life ahead of us!!

Sunday, September 13, 2009 . 11:48 PM

Had a great day out with Esther today!! Met her at 2.30 to have a late lunch at AMK Hub Pepper Lunch. Food was pretty nice but we couldn't finish the Caramel and Black Sesame ice creams. Too much and too sweet. Then we took a train down to Somerset to look for a pair of Lacoste sneakers she wanted very badly. We thought it Sportslink had the shoes so we went to Orchard Central to check out the place. Didn't really have much time to explore the place properly though. Anyway, it turns out that Sportslink doesn't sell Lacoste products at all. We crossed the road to Centerpoint and tadah!! Royal Sporting House had it!!

After getting the shoes we popped by Marks & Spencer to buy some tidbits to munch on. Bought a packet of piggy shaped sweets and 3 boxes of red currant biscuits to bring home. Again we took the train to Clarke Quay and she brought me to Liang Court (which I've never been to before). According to her the entire shopping mall had a make over because the last time she was there, it was a completely dead place. We were feeling greedy so we bought a small box of sushi from the supermarket at the basement. Sat at McDonald's to savour the sushi and very spicy wasabe.

We headed to Khatib after that for her yoga class but ended up a few minutes late...sorry!! I hung around at this cafe for about an hour before sending her back home after class. We didn't get to do henna like we hoped to do...sorry again!! We'll make time for it on our next date. =)

Saturday, September 12, 2009 . 4:36 AM

Friday, September 11, 2009 . 7:22 AM

I'm going to be late for school because I'm typing this.

Bryant, you're a Class A fool do you know that? Since the day you were born, you have been making the wrong decisions in life. Everything has more or less been laid out nicely in life for you. Sometimes you think you're less fortunate than others. Other kids had toys while all you got were story books and educational puzzles. In a way that's better than toys because I learnt alot of stuff. But in the process, look what it made me today? I'm objective driven, efficient, technical and a perfectionist. You give me a job to do and I will complete it as close to perfection as I possibly can.

Some of you are probably thinking: Wow...I wish I could be like him. So naturally smart. He can study almost any subject and he knows almost all the answers to everything. He can solve almost any problem I give him.

Sure, if you put it this way, then yes. I am all those things. But let me tell you something. This world thrives and survives on balance. 1 + 1 = 2. If I take away 1 on one side, I have to add 1 on the other side 0 + 2 = 2. Yes, I do realise that I'm generally smarter and intuitive than other people but what I have sacrificed for all this are emotions and communication.

Don't get me wrong. My EQ is pretty sensitive. I can tell a person's mood when most other people can't, but the problem is that I don't know how to let it out verbally or through body language. When a person walks into a room, the first thing is look at is his eyes. I'm able to look deep within his eyes and judge his feelings. But if he's sad and blue, I won't know how to console him and make him feel better. If I know the person well, I would probably offer a listening ear and offer any advice I think would be useful. If I didn't know him that well, you would probably see me saying something like "Eh....why so late!!!" to cover up any sign that I'm aware of his feelings.

Many people around me have suffered because of this. My girlfriend, my friends and my family. (Most of you are thinking right now: Eh...look. He placed his girlfriend first followed by friends and his family last. Such an unloving person.) I'm afraid that's true. It all started out with my family. They were the first to experience this under developed side of me. Whenever I was angry or sad I didn't know how to tell them. I felt like they couldn't help me with anything so I just kept quiet and locked myself in my room and blasted music depending on my mood. Many years went by and I slowly distanced myself from them to a point where sometimes I don't even say a word to anyone in the house for a day. The one member of my family to experience the worse of this is my brother.

The next to suffer from this are my friends. Generally BHSS people. I know alot of my classmates used to hate my guts back in school. Bryant the jackass. Bryant thinks he knows every damn thing. Bryant has all the answers and jumps in everytime to act like the hero. Unfortunately yes. I do jump in most of the time with the right answers but I honestly did not do it because I wanted to be the hero. I just felt that if I couldn't be a social person, then I have to work on my strengths. I felt that if I didn't make myself noticed, then I would be a loser and a nobody in this world. Let's be honest. You already know I'm not great at socialising. I'm not fantastic at sports either. All I wanted was some status amongst the people I knew. When people around you slowly leave your life, you always remember them because of something. Every class had people with status. Like John the handsome one. Or Tom the sporty one, always scoring goals. Or Daniel the joker, always making people laugh. Or Michael the rich one. But who was I? I was none of those. In fact, I was pretty much a nobody. I wanted to be heard and seen, but most of all I wanted to be remembered. That's why I did all those things. Guys, I know its been 3 years since we all last sat together as a class but for all those things I've said and done to hurt each and everyone of you, I'm truly sorry. I can't take anything back but I can only hope you can forgive me.

The latest person to take this crap from me is Esther. To be honest, I'm a little surprised she hasn't threatened to leave me or anything. All the little stupid things that I've done to make you upset are all linked to what I am. Another thing is that I have this need to please everyone around me. Even if I'm overloaded with work and someone asks me to help him, I'll say yes. Even when I'm broke and someone wants to borrow money, I'll say yes. Maybe I'm a fool and a pushover but somehow I always put myself in their shoes and pity them. If I were them and someone was kind enough to help me out, I would be so ever grateful. But I think its time I learnt how to say no. I have to learn how to prioritise things in life. I'm not using my parents as an excuse for what I've become because every parent has their own specific way of bringing up their child. I'm trying to change for you and everyone else because I don't want to lose any of you. Especially you. It's not easy but I'll try my very best. If you do happen to find out what methods I'm using to make myself a better person, don't laugh okay? It may seem ridiculous but if it works, why not use it?

You're a wonderful person. You're a girlfriend and a friend. You've been so patient with me and my stupidity all this while and I thank you for that. I've made plenty of bad decisions in life but being with you is definitely the best one I've ever made. I think I've changed a little so far because these days when I'm stressed at school or when I'm feeling down, I just have this urge to call you and talk to you. Before that, all I did was to go home, blast music and sleep it off. But let me tell you that is wonderful to hear your voice after a long day and hear out my problems.

I know you don't trust me anymore. I'm hoping that would change soon. But for now, that's what I deserve.

Thursday, September 10, 2009 . 3:56 PM

Wednesday, September 9, 2009 . 8:53 PM

Okay!! Blog time!! Yesterday Esther and I had a long day. We got up early to have breakfast at Northpoint McDonald's before heading to Hay Dairies Farm at Lim Chu Kang. We hoped to catch the daily milking session but we arrived a tad too late. We still got to see a lot of goats though. The farm separates the goats by age, so we saw them "growing" from puny sized ones to old shaggy ones the size of a pony. We shared a 200ml bottle of white goat milk ($2.50) and it was pretty good although the taste is stronger than regular cow milk. The next two planned farm visits were disappointments. It seems that the cow and dog farms were both closed permanently a long time ago. I could tell she was pretty upset because the farm visits were supposed to be the main events of the day. Wished there was something I could do to cheer her up.


















Then we drove down to Jurong Point to catch The Proposal. Quite a funny movie but the storyline was a little too simple and shallow. There were funny scenes here and there but overall it was a good movie. (By the way, I do not look good in large oversized glasses). We were supposed to visit Botanic Gardens after that but that was cancelled because I popped by my school to check up on my project members and I ended up giving a lift to one of them to Newton. I'm so sorry Esther.






We were getting hungry since we didn't have lunch so we had stingray and kang kong for our early dinner at Newton Circus. It was so so so delicious. My mouth is watering even as I'm thinking of it...hahaha. After dinner we went to Heeren to buy a birthday present for Kee Soon, one of her close friends.





Our tastebuds were craving for something sweet and that something sweet happened to be at Ang Mo Kio. Shared a bowl of dou hua at her favourite place and it was just right for the two of us.

Had to call it a night after that because her mum would scold her again if she stayed out too late.